I speak sarcasm fluently

I speak sarcasm fluently. I can be sarcastic about the world, about life, about people and also about myself.
Sarcasm is my shrink, my anger management, my lifeline. Some people do drugs or alcohol, I do sarcasm.


I have been hurt so many times in the past, that sarcasm is my way to survive. It helps me not to take life too serious. So whenever I am having a hard time I use sarcasm to get through it. Modern technology helps me vent my sarcasm worldwide. Nowadays I mostly use twitter for this. I am sarcastic in general and to myself in particular. So I am really not trying to offend anyone, it is just my sense of humour I guess. 


Some of my sarcastic oneliners:

• So you really think I care? You must be living in la la land..
• I think I like you. But then again, my mind doesn't work that well.
• Some people say I'm too sarcastic. So for them I'll say something nice... There I said it, something nice.
• So you stabbed me in the back. I'll stab you in the front and then I'll call it even.
• So you think I'm sarcastic? You should be happy to know I'm not being sarcastic when I tell you you're brainless.
• Your qualities? You can breath all by yourself!
• Everytime I look at you, I realize how lucky Stevie Wonder is.
• If I didn't know karma would bite you in the ass some day, I'd do it myself!
• If there would be a space button between us, I'd hit it a million times!
• I don't know why I'm such a bitch, you'll have to ask my shrink.
• Some people are so fake that a compulsive liar would have an easy job saying nothing real about them.
• Some people are so fake, they come with a manufacturers label.
• My love for you is endless. So when does endless end?