My letter for Brett

I keep procrastinating it, because I don't want to do it. Because when I do, it is reality. When I do, the truth is going to hit me like a ton of bricks. August 16. Just another date for so many people. But that date has been hunting me. I've had nightmares about that date. For more than 4 years he has been such a close friend. And now I need to write a letter to the Clemency Board to save his life. Brett has an execution date for August 16.

He is innocent, so how can this happen? Let me put one thing straight. I am not saying he is innocent, because I want  him to be innocent, because I think he is innocent or because he told me he is innocent. I am saying he is innocent, because I know he is innocent. Some of my friends think I have poor judgement when it comes to his innocence. They think I got too personally involved and that this has blurred my objectivity. The great thing about Brett is when we met, he didnt emphasize his innocence. He just sent me the trial transcript and all the police reports and told me to judge for myself. I was amazed by the complete lack of evidence against him and similarily amazed by the pile of evidence supporting his innocence. People have elevated their careers because of Brett's conviction. He has been on death row for over 13 years now. It makes me angry, it makes me pissed off and it makes me feel completely powerless. I want to slap the members of the Clemency Board in their face with all the evidence supporting his innocence. I want to scream at them that they are about to execute an innocent man and that the real murderer is still out there. I am astonished that  prosecutors, policemen and so called expert witnesses have willingly commited perjury and thereby signed his death sentence to help their own careers. If Brett would have pleaded guilty, he would have gotten life without parole. But because he didnt show remorse according to the judge and kept claiming his innocence, he got the death sentence. Brett will never admit guilt, even if he can save his life with it. Not then and not now. The legacy he wants to leave is not that of a murderer. But right now most people see him this way.

And now I have to write a letter to the Clemency Board. Can words persuade them to give him a stay?
Should I tell them about all of the wonderful memories we shared? Does it matter to them that he loved waking me up with his 3am phonecalls, he learned how to speak Dutch, but couldnt pronounce the letter 'G' and we couldn't stop laughing when throwing food at each other at visits? Do they care that he gave me the nickname Roadrunner and Bula, he made a lot of beautiful paintings for me and that I just don't want to lose such a dear friend? Will they quickly read through the letter and then lay it aside or will they read it and let the words really sink in?

Brett doesn't deserve to die. He doesn't need to die. Brett is such a beautiful, warm and gentle person. He blames himself that we became close friends, because he doesn't want to leave me devastated when he is executed. When his execution does happen, I will be left devastated, but I will never regret knowing him and loving him. I will never regret all the moments we shared. It was all worth it. I wouldn't change a thing.


I hope the words will make them realize that Brett shouldn't die. I hope Brett will be spared. I hope Brett will live. I hope. I will keep hoping.