More than meets the eye

At quite a young age I was confronted with a death in the family. At this very first funeral I didn't know how to act. As I stood next to my parents, I noticed my father wasn't crying. He didn't seem to be really upset. After we left the funeral, he was making jokes in the car. I asked my father why he wasn't upset. He asked me:"Why do you think I'm not upset?"I answered him that most people were crying at the funeral and he wasn't. He replied by asking me:" So in order to be upset, you have to cry?" I hesitated for a moment and then answered:" I guess not, I just thought because everyone was crying..."
My father explained to me that just because he hadn't cried, it didn't mean he wasn't upset. "There is no wrong in how people react to a shocking event. You can't always see on the outside, how someone feels on the inside." I never forgot his words.

Throughout the years I have become a person that doesn't show much emotion. I can act tough, but that doesn't mean things don't effect me. Sometimes there is more than meets the eye.

I have been writing with men on death row and life without parole for quite some years now. I have also been always interested in criminal cases and have read many the past few years. I have read trial transcripts, police reports, blogs and stories. In some cases the defendant was innocent and in some he was not. What struck me most that in the judicial system in the States the jury sometimes convicts on appearance and behavior instead of mere facts. In a way this is understandable. But I dont think it is right.

Some of the reasons jury members gave for finding someone guilty:

He seemed indifferent. He didn't look innocent. He didn't show remorse. It was just crocodile tears. He gave me the creeps. He looked like a monster. He had dark, evil eyes. He didn't cry. He seemed so cold. He was making jokes with his attorney. He looked away when they showed the crime scene photos. He just stared at the crime scene pictures. The tears weren't real. He acted guilty. He didn't seem to moarn the loss of his 'wife/friend/son'. He was staring at the floor. He was smiling and waving at his family. He yawned.


I wonder if some jury members had the same thoughts when they convicted Anthony Graves, when they found Joe D'ambrosio guilty, when they gave Juan Melendez the death penalty or when they sentenced Jeremy Sheets to die. After spending years on death row they were found innocent.

Susan Smith made a heartwrenching plea to he alledged kidnappers of her two children at a press conference. She cried and trembled when she told the media how much she loved her children. Her husband had to hold her so she wouldn't collapse. A few months later she herself was arrested for the murder of her children and later on also confessed to the crime. She had fooled almost everyone.

On both sides this shows there is more than meets the eye. Every person is unique and every person responds in their own unique way. Do I get judged by how I react to certain events in my life? Of course. But luckily my life doesn't depend on it.

Let's just stick with the facts.